


cura te ipsum

by birdhymns



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Gen, Past Abuse, Touching on that good good Catradora relationship, and the sort of effect realising the extent of abuse on you can have on a person, inspired by one theory post that noted only Catra saw the promise when they were little, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 20:58:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18582457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdhymns/pseuds/birdhymns
Summary: To better prepare herself, Adora tries to tap into her healing powers.It goes better than expected.





	cura te ipsum

She’s not all she could be, and it sits ill with Adora.

The threat won’t stagnate, and neither should she. She cannot hope for miracles to save her every time—can’t rely on them, can’t know they’ll intervene when she needs them. Strength she can master is strength she can wield, to fight and protect her friends, and what they love in turn.

And it’s because of that she doesn’t want to go to Light Hope.

There’s no time, for one. The Horde won’t wait years for her to face them. And Adora cannot leave her friends, cannot cut herself away. Light Hope might have been made to help those who carried the power of Greyskull, but there’s a disregard that makes Adora uneasy. Who would she be without those closest to her? How would she have ever known what was true and good without them?

So she finds a quiet moment, makes a tiny cut on the back of her hand, and looks inward.

It’s worth a shot, she thinks, slowing herself down, eyes closed as she breathes in through her nose, out through her mouth. Sure Light Hope said it would take years with guidance, but there’s something to be said for the pressure of deadlines, right? And she knows the feeling of her power, drawing on it is familiar. It’s just the direction she’s giving that changes.

Right?

-

As she discovers quickly, the direction changes the hurdles significantly.

But she persists, her hand curling tighter around her sword. She wants to be more, needs to be more. Being able to heal would be another way to help her friends, a way she couldn’t achieve with a blade alone.

There are so many rifts that cannot be closed with a swing of a sword.

The thought throbs painfully before Adora pushes it back, using her focus on the cut to blot it out.

But it fails, power slipping between the cracks of a too-tight grip, and she’s left staring at a beading line of red on her hand.

She sighs. Closes her eyes. Tries again.

-

She’s lost count of attempts, when she finally does manage it.

It takes, more out of her than she expects, but she smiles seeing the cut sealed before her eyes—

—and then her smile drops as a wave of dizziness pulls her down. Her head pounds, and deep in her power as she is, she can feel something crack before it, then give way.

She remembers.

Tears come unbidden as she holds her head and remembers, times she questioned too much saw too much defied Shadow Weaver for Catra’s sake, and all those memories end with her being taken to Shadow Weaver’s room, to that table, tied down and disobedient thoughts dealt with by surgical precision.

She remembers. She knows what she’s lost, and what has been weakened in turn, a cascade centered about who she is….Or who she thought she was.

_You promise?_

_I promise._

“I’m sorry,” she rasps, to no one, and weeps until she is dried out.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Shaking off the semester rust with this short little thing. Process was basically this:
> 
> 1\. Jot down skeleton of fic for later writing.  
> 2\. Open skeleton months later and realise the second season is coming out this week.  
> 3\. Race to write it before it gets Jossed.
> 
> ...Yea. Shorter and perhaps rougher than I originally planned. Still, I'm (mostly) content with it, and I hope you all enjoyed too. The question of how Adora didn't realise what was going on with the Horde, or Catra, when they were so close, was one that sat with me a long time, and the implications of the mindwiping attempted by Shadow Weaver was... well. Enlightening in a grim manner. 
> 
> Key choices and memories suppressed, effectively nulled--we have no idea of the extent of it. And, if it is true, and if Adora realises it... knowledge is power. But knowing that you might never be who you could be, have what you could have had, because someone denied who you were, denied your right of your own person, knowing for the longest time you aren't *whole* and it has shaped your life until now... that hurts.


End file.
